Doctor results

I'm currently home on the couch. Today was ridiculously long and I left work.

What was supposed to be a quick appointment turns into a 2-hour ordeal and blood work. After knowing how much pain I was in and the amount spotting I was having, they pretty much rushed me into the ultrasound room to check everything out. They took a ton of pictures at all angles. Before I even left the room, the tech thought she saw blood in my ovaries.

Hearing those words made me panic. She assured me that the doctor was going to go over my results and let me know what was really going on. Because this was an emergency appointment, I didn't see Dr. S, but someone else in the office. We'll call her Dr. V. She told me that she saw a few blood clots, called subchorionic hematomas, that were fairly large and surrounding the baby in the uterus. They are caused by bleeding in the uterus. Her biggest concern was that since I had bleeding when I first found I was pregnant, and again now, that I am at a risk for miscarriage (she explained there's only a 5% chance of it actually happening, but once you bleed/spot more than once that the chance increases). Because of this, they did an exam to check my cervix and see if I was dilated any (apparently, there is a slim chance of preterm labor as well - although, highly unlikely).

I wasn't dilated and it looked like my blood had stopped at least temporarily. Dr. V said that's a good sign. However, I am going back to see them in a week in order to double check the baby and the size of the clots. From this point forward, I'm going to be monitored pretty closely. Dr. V also stressed that if I have any bleeding from this point forward, no matter the color, I need to call and come in for an ultrasound and check on the baby (at least I get to see baby more often!!).

She also sent me for Rhogam. Rhogam is used when a mom has RH- blood and the baby is RH+. There is a chance of complications, especially during the delivery if the blood mixes together. It is more for the second baby more than the first, but the potential for it to cause problems is always there. They previously checked my antibodies for it and I will have to repeat this process around 25 weeks pregnant.

I was told that I should go home for the day, relax and not go to work. Since it was my breakfast day (my work has someone bring in breakfast once a week), I stopped in and dropped off my breakfast and told my boss that I was going home. He knew about my doctor's appointment already and when I walked in the door, he immediately said, "Go home. I can tell you're obviously in pain. Do what you need to do to take care of your baby and you." I felt so relieved that he was so awesome about it.

Now, it's just a waiting game until my next appointment to see that everything is going to be okay with the baby.

Not going to lie, I'm scared about what is going to happen next.

Ugh...

I'm in a lot of pain right now. I started spotting late last night and it has continued (and had continuously gotten heavier) through the day and night. This is accompanied by some pretty painful cramping in the middle of my stomach.

Because I'm a huge bundle of nervous energy like the rest of my family, I called Dr. S' office and told them what was going on. The nurse I spoke to asked a bunch of questions about my prenatal history and hung up with me to go talk to a doctor.

She called back, saying, "We're going to set you up for an 8:15am ultrasound and exam. You're the first appointment of the day."

I have called for pain or spotting (not pain and spotting) and every time, her response would be like, "See how you feel in the morning and call us." The matter-of-a-fact nature of this woman's statement couldn't have sent me more into a tizzy.

I'm sure it's nothing. The more I think about it (even in pain), the more I think it is nothing. But I'm too uncomfortable not to be seen. Especially with the pain. They scheduled me for an ultrasound and an internal exam. If my stomach continues to feel like this, I'm going to be dreading both. I'm so uncomfortable and hurting.

Slowly, the spotting has slowed down. However, the cramping is just as hard and frequent. Ugh.

I'll post as an update tomorrow.

Telling Work

I told work about my pregnancy today.

This truly was terrifying for me. It was a conversation that I wasn't sure I might have one day - especially after only starting my full-time job three months ago.

I didn't originally see my boss when he came in the office for the day (he sneaked in the back entrance), so I had most of the morning to gather my thoughts and work up the nerve. However, I went to go fill my water bottle at the sink and ran into him. After discussing some work topics, I nervously asked him if he would have time to set aside to talk to me. He agreed that he would message me once he had a free moment (we use an instant messaging system to talk to each other instead having to call a person each time we have a simple question).

Around 11:30 in the morning, he told me to come to his office. I kept repeating in my head, "It's going to be okay, it's going to be okay..."

I shut the door behind me and just came out with it, "My husband I recently found out that we are pregnant and I am due in late-January."

I barely got through the sentence before he said, "Congrats!! That's so exciting!" *cue weight being lifted from shoulders* I still was very nervous though. I felt like I was shaking on the inside. With me being so new at the company, I wasn't sure how supportive they would be in terms of going to doctor's appointments during the work day or going on maternity leave. Since I knew I don't qualify for FMLA, the unexpected is frightening.

Soon after my meeting with my boss was over, the Human Resources Manager came to my desk and told me that he heard the news. He was so excited, he practically hugged me. It was really sweet. He told me that he was going to discuss options with his supervisor and that they would be run by the CEO who makes the final decision. Considering the CEO doesn't live in the country and I've only met him once, I don't know how he will react. I probably won't know what actually what will happen until about late-October or early-November.

I stressed how much I love working for the company and that I plan to go back to work after the baby is born, so hopefully that will work in my favor (considering I meant it).

Only time will tell what will actually happen, but it is nice to officially be completely public with our pregnancy. I'm in the last week of my first trimester and I have wanted to share this news with everyone for so long. I can't believe the first trimester is already ending. Our baby will be here before we know it...

Week 13

I can now start posting in real-time since I caught you guys up on all the initial testing. From here on out, I will be posting weekly about how I'm feeling, any testing and milestones. Let the fun begin!

Week 13

How far along? 13 weeks, last week of the first trimester, already!!

How are you feeling? Lately, I've been having some rough days. Constantly nauseous and exhausted. Staying awake at work has truly been a challenge. Truly.

Baby is the size of a: Medium-sized shrimp

Cravings: Basically anything that includes chocolate.

Aversions: Even the mention of eggs makes me feel sick. Smells are giving me headaches.

Testing/appts this week? I have to get my Lamotrigine levels checked this week to make sure we don't have to raise the dosage. No appointments though.

Milestones: My belly popped! I have the tiniest little bump. I will be posting pictures later when I'm not posting from my phone. Also, I'm telling work tomorrow and I'm totally nervous about it. We will see how that goes.

Catching Up pt. 2

This post is going to be crazy long...

We saw a nurse shortly after this to discuss our family history and how the next couple of months were going to go. It was then, she asked us our plans for genetic testing. Since AEDs can cause neural tube defects and I am a high risk pregnancy patient because of epilepsy, she suggested I get a sequential screening. 

This test uses an ultrasound to check for chromosomal conditions such as Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18 & 21. They also take two blood tests in order to determine the risk of neural tube defects. While this test doesn't provide a diagnosis, it is around 90% accurate in assessing risk.

We were sent to see a perinatologist for this and because of my high risk status, all of my ultrasounds will be performed there from now on. The tech used a Doppler this time to do the ultrasound. When we had our original dating ultrasound, I was only 7 weeks pregnant and the baby was too small to measure with a Doppler, so they did an internal ultrasound. She explained that she was going to look for a visible nose plate (babies with Downs have a really really small one) and the thickness behind the neck (if a baby has a chromosomal disorder, the neck tends to be thicker). 

To be honest, this test petrified me. It scared me to the point that I felt like I couldn't breathe when I thought about it sometimes. Knowing that I conceived a child on a medication that could potentially cause harm (although Lamotrigine is an arm and a leg safer than others) is a scary thought. Even though I know I did everything right, I was going to hold my breath until I knew for a fact that everything was okay. The entire walk in, Dave kept repeating to me, "No matter what this says, it doesn't change anything." There are no words for how much I love my husband...

Our little one was sleeping when the ultrasound started. He/she was sleeping with arms above the head, just like Mommy :) The tech gently nudged the baby and he/she began flailing as if to say, "Leave me alone, Mom, I'm sleeping."

Stats: Baby came back with a heart rate of 168 bpm, a very, very visible nose plate (Daddy's nose!!) and a neck thickness of 0.9 and they were looking for it to be under 2.5 in order for it to be considered normal. So the chances of Downs and Trisomy 18 or 21 is very slim. Such a relief.

They told us that they would only call us after the first blood test if they saw that something raised a red flag. It is a week later and still no phone call, so that's a great sign. My second round of blood work for the sequential is August 2nd and that will give us a more clear view. As long as they don't call in between now and then, I feel confident that our little blessing is doing just fine in there :)

Catching Up pt. 1

Like I said, the next couple of posts are going to catch you guys up to this point. I'm am going to try and cram all the information in a couple of posts so I can begin posting real-time.

I called Dr. S the Tuesday after we found out (it was Memorial Day weekend so business was closed Monday). The response I received was basically, "You're what?" They were all as stunned as we were, but really happy. The majority of the nurses were already familiar with my background, so I know their congratulations were truly genuine.

I was sent for blood work (beta test, it measures the amount of pregnancy hormone in your blood stream and comfirms + pregnancy). The doctor said that anything above 15 is considered pregnancy (non-pregnant women usually range between 5-10). After 3,000, it is considered viable and after 6,000, they can hear a heartbeat.

My original blood work came back at 36,000! I was definitely pregnant. Definitely. After 48 hours, they had me repeat the beta test and my number was up to 48,950. As long as it is increasing, it means the baby is growing.

Dave and I then had my first prenatal visit. They took us into the ultrasound room to date the pregnancy and make sure everything was okay (I had been experiencing some pain and spotting). The tech found the baby pretty much instantly. Baby M was front and center :)

And then, the most amazing sound I've ever heard came over the monitor.

At 145 bpm (beats per minute), our baby's heartbeat came in loud and clear. I will never, ever forget the way Dave's face looked. He lit up brighter than the sun. It was amazing. I squeezed his hand and teared up as the tech said, "That's your baby."

Since then, I've done all the prenatal blood work (including the gestational diabetes testing - the stuff you drink is horrendous) and everything came back normal. So far, my Lamotrigine levels look good and Dr. L is happy where they are in my first trimester. (Remember when I wrote about my levels being 5.1? That was the first check of my pregnancy Lamotrigine levels)

I still can't believe this is happening. It doesn't feel real. We are so blessed! 

Breaking the News

I can finally say this out loud.

As of today, I am 12 weeks pregnant. We still can't believe it. After years of procedures, medication, pain, emotional ups and downs and numerous doctors telling me that it was going to take us years, if at all, because of my epilepsy, PCOS and endometriosis, I am pregnant with our first child.

According to the doctor, I am due January 19, 2014 (personally, I think it's earlier than that. Every ultrasound we go to is measuring about a week ahead). I went off birth control the first week of April and within the first week, I was having headaches, my chest was painful and I was exhausted. My doctor told me that this was typical of coming off birth control. The only thing is that these symptoms only increased and never went away. To begin with, they probably were caused by me coming off the hormones, but continued because of me being pregnant. By this math, this means that I got pregnant within the first two weeks of being off birth control! Both of us were stunned.

We actually found out Memorial Day weekend, the day after we got back from vacation. I hadn't been feeling well on the way back from vacation. I originally thought that I had a UTI and even got medication for it (I was peeing so much and I was cramping). After three days of feeling miserable, Dave told me to take a test.

I took two. 

Ha! Two different brands. Both times the + and the two lines appeared pretty much instantly. I literally paced back and forth for almost an hour upstairs, It took all the nerve I had to go downstairs and tell Dave. I didn't know what to do!! I always dreamt that I would tell him in some elaborate way that would show him how much I love him and would completely sweep him off of his feet. However, I wasn't going to hold this huge secret in while he was none-the-wiser. I couldn't. So I gave him this:

Front:

Inside: 

I had mentally prepared Dave and myself for an extremely difficult road when trying to have children. I was expecting fertility drugs, laparoscopies, doctor appointments and therapies. However, I still wouldn't say that getting to this point was easy. We made sure we did everything possible to ensure a healthy a baby before even starting. I truly believe in my heart that God saw how badly we wanted this baby and once both the baby and myself would be in a safe place during the pregnancy, He blessed us.

The picture above is from our sequential ultrasound (checks for Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18). Our baby is growing so quickly! The next couple of posts will catch you guys up on the appts I've had over the month and a half.

Good night!