Restarting

Just a quick note...

I actually stopped charting for this month. Everything just looked so wacky and inconsistent. It was making me irritated. I've decided that I'm just going to watch the cycle days and if/when I make it to 40 days, call my Ob/Gyn and explain.

I think charting will be easier when i have a consistent schedule and have to be up at the same time, every day.

BBTs

I've begun charting my basal body temperature. This is the only sure-fire to tell if someone with PCOS is ovulating. With a combination of my AEDs (which most cause cysts on the ovaries and anovulatory cycles), endometriosis and PCOS, my OB/Gyn wanted to make sure that everything was going as planned off of birth control. I know it can take several cycles (sometimes, up to a year) for the body to regulate, but I started anyway.

I've only been charting for 4 days, but already ;my chart is showing abnormal signs. The spikes between temperatures shouldn't be that high that soon in the chart. If it is still like next week, I may give Dr. S a call and let him know what's happening. This could be a couple of things:

• The thermometer may be broken
• I'm not doing it right and need to temp the exact same time every day (they say you have an hour window to take the temperature as long as it's relatively close. If it's more than an hour, or 30 minutes in each direction, then it won't be accurate). Also, there are many factors that can change your temperature, such as sleep-deprivation, PMS symptoms and exercise.

or,

• My PCOS is just being a jerk. There are reports that show that sometimes, when a woman has PCOS, that charting may not to accurate because the constant change in testosterone levels and anovulatory cycles. 

We will see if it starts to regulate. I also just may wait the 40 days like he asked and then, bring him the chart and tell him. This is all under the assumption that I don't get my monthly "friend," though. I knew that there was a possibility (more like, likelihood) that when I stopped birth control that my body wouldn't be cool with it. Ha.

The Power of Positive Attitude

While surfing the web, Dave came across a post by George Wacker from Lehigh Valley with Love. I was immediately drawn to the message.

It's about a young man named Shane Burcaw. Shane has SMA. He will always be confined to a wheelchair and the disease will, sadly, end his life. However, this diagnosis does not keep Shane from living his life to the fullest of his current capabilities.

He started a blog, "Laughing at My Nightmare." It documents the stories of his struggles, wins, happy and sad days - and everything in between.

Reading just a few posts and looking at a few videos (there is one especially amazing where he plays goalie against his brother in street hockey), this affirmed my belief that if a person realizes the beauty gift that life really is - taking their struggles in stride and the most positive attitude possible like Shane does - anyone can live a life of happiness, love and personal success. Conditions, diseases, and disabilities do not define a person, they are defined by how they choose to live their life and see the world. Knowing that great people like Shane exist should be an eye-opener for everyone to realize how incredibly lucky they are to just have the opportunity to experience the gift of life.

His blog is spreading the reality that is SMA. He is helping people. Shane is doing an amazing thing by letting people he doesn't even know into his world.

I could only hope that people will find his blog and feel inspired to live their lives to the fullest. Please check this out.

CD 1

This is my first CD 1 (cycle day 1) off birth control.

The cramping is so severe. I seriously think it would be more comfortable having a knife lodged in my stomach and having be constantly twisting. I know that sound extremely melodramatic, but this is the fourth day in a row feeling like this and having no real relief (I've tried everything from 800 mg of ibuprofen, Naproxen, heating pads, laying in the fetal position, etc).

However, it's great news that I got a CD 1. The real testament to how my body is reacting to being off the pill is if anything happens 28-35 days from now.

I'm hopeful, but I also confirmed my worry yesterday about going off the pill. My endometriosis is back in full swing. I know this because of several signals and symptoms that I've always had and have been attributed to the condition.

I'll spare you all from the gross details.

On top of all this, I need to call Dr. L's office because I am trying to get my prescription for my Lamotrigine ER to go towards my deductible. There is paperwork that I have to fill out that requires my doctor's DEA number in order to complete it. I'm going to try and give the office a call either today or tomorrow. Wish me luck. They don't exact just give out a doctor's DEA number to patients.

I know that all of this pain will be over soon, but in the meantime, it feels like the end of the world. I haven't had this much pain in years and it is truly a shock to my system. Here's hoping that I can actually get off the couch today for more than 15 minutes at a time...

Familiar Feelings

My body is just angry with me right now.

I stopped my birth control on Tuesday. I felt fine until yesterday. Yesterday, I woke up with the most crippling cramps I've had in years (probably since before my laparoscopic surgery in 2007).

Throughout yesterday, they got worse and worse. By the end of the night, they were so sharp that I couldn't physically move from the couch. I had been on-and-off nauseous all day, as well, which I was attributing to the pain.

I woke up this morning feeling just as bad, if not worse. I'm currently sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over and unable to move. Every time I sit up straight, my lower abdomen screams. I know I'm going through this for a good reason, but the idea of going through this every month is downright scary. I've already taken some Extra Strength Tylenol to alleviate some of the pain, but so far, it doesn't seem to be doing much of anything.

The pain is localized in my lower right side (lower left quadrant, in medical terms). This tells me that it's not only my PCOS acting up but also my endometriosis. I have what's called endometriosis of the uterosacral ligament. It's in a very tricky area but still can be removed with laparoscopic surgery. Dr. S. has talked about removing it before, but he wanted to see how I reacted with birth control before making the decision to do so. Well, here I am...

I would like to see, however, as the moths go on, if the pain gets any more manageable. I know that pregnancy is supposed to wipe out the endometriosis but we have no idea of knowing how long that will take.

UPDATE:

12pm: I just threw up from the pain. This is totally reminiscent of high school...

One day at a time....one day at a time....

Stopping the Pill

Yesterday was my last day of hormonal pills in my birth control. I threw away the rest of the pack since only sugar pills were left. When you are stopping birth control, they (meaning the medical industry) suggest that a patient finishes all hormonal pills before stopping because otherwise you can throw off your natural cycle. However, this really only applies assuming that the woman is going to be instantly regular after coming off the pill. Some women go back to getting a normal monthly period immediately, but for the majority of women, it can take up to a year for cycles to regulate.

I also called Dr. S.'s office to let him know that we are stopping birth control and going to be actively trying once Aunt Flo (AF) comes and goes. I explained that my medication switch was over and I was responding fine, I am taking 3.8mgs of folic acid daily including a prenatal with DHA and that Dr. L. had given us the go-ahead to start trying. The nurse I spoke to read me off a list of instructions that be had in my file whenever we were ready.

He wants me to chart my basal body temperature (like I had talked about before), but wants me to send it to him monthly instead of bringing it to my appointments. He said that if he doesn't see a pattern emerging or that I'm not ovulating on my own in 6 months, then we will discuss options of how to move forward. Also, if I have a cycle more than 45 days or am in AF for 14 days or more to call him. A drug called Provera can be used to induce periods and I'm assuming I'd go back on bcp for a month to "reset" my cycle if bleeding wasn't stopping.

It is a lot if information to take in when we haven't even started yet. Now, we just wait for CD1...