I can't believe I have to write this post...

FYI - this is going to be long 

I can't believe I'm actually saying this...

I had a seizure. My first seizure in 21 years. 

I woke up with a migraine that had a ton of auras. I felt terrible. I wasn't surprised since Colin had a little bit of a rough night and we were up a lot. I had gotten up with Colin for his morning feeding (and to get him up for the day). When Dave came down, I actually went back upstairs to nap for an hour. My headache was only getting worse.

I was bringing Mucinex downstairs for Dave (he hasn't been feeling great the past few days) and when I got to the lower level stairs, I felt my leg twitch. I sat down on the stairs and my leg continued to twitch more. Dave put Colin down in the pack and play and picked me up to get me to the couch.

That's when it started. I had a seizure that lasted about 4 minutes. It was over before Dave was even off the phone with 911. I was fully aware that it was happening. Dave was with me the entire time and was reassuring me that everything was okay. We had the ambulance take me to the hospital to get monitored. Dave's family came over I watch Colin and my mom and dad met us at the hospital.

At the hospital, they took a trough level and checked for eclampsia (it can cause seizures postpartum). The test for eclampsia came back negative, thankfully. It was more a whole bunch of waiting for people to come in and out of my room. In the meantime, we all watched the Flyers game (holy moly, they won!).

Dr. L called this morning to discuss what happened and give me some instruction. She raised my meds back to 200mg 2x/daily, which I feel is the right decision. She also doesn't want me driving for a month or holding the baby for two weeks (one of the first questions she asked me was if Colin was okay). It's so frustrating. Honestly, it doesn't feel real.

I am so happy that I wasn't holding Colin when this happened. I am so glad he's safe and is none the wiser to what happened. I am sad that Dave had to experience that with me, though. It's extremely scary and something that I never thought he would have to see. In a strange and horrible way though, it's good, because now there is literally nothing we haven't been through together. I'm angry that it happened and once again, I'm going to be an inconvenience to the people around me. 

I always knew in switching meds and getting pregnant that this was a possibility. With the change in hormones, lack of sleep, stress and addition of birth control and medication for PPD, my body has a lot going on. Yes, it sucks, but my epilepsy still does not define me. I will not consistently feel bad for myself that this happened. My life is amazing. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful baby boy and fantastic family and friends. I am happy. This is just another paragraph in a chapter in my life. It doesn't get its own chapter.

Alright, going to get something to eat with hubby. :)